I heard the soft sound of rain on the glass windows, the minty essence of Harry’s cologne tickling me nose. I felt his tall, somewhat overbearing presence in front of me, his green eyes watching me worriedly. I looked anywhere but him, the words I have yet to utter caught in my throat
“Harry, can I talk to you for a moment?” I had asked barely two minutes ago. He had just come home from recording in the studio, and I’d decided to stay in our flat, mulling over my decision. I’ve lost track of all the tears I’ve spilled over the past few hours, hating what I’m about to say, even if I knew I had to.
“What’s wrong?” Harry’s soft, nervous, voice brought me back to Earth. I didn’t realize how lost in thought I was.
I sighed, shifting my weight and looking up at him. Just the sight of the worried anticipation in his eyes made my lip tremble, and I bit it to try to attempt to hide it.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” I murmured, almost to myself more than him. He frowned, and I elaborated. “I don’t think I can handle our relationship anymore. The hate has been getting to my head recently, and I also don’t want to distract you from the band. I know it’s your dream and you love every minute of it, but-“
“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” he whispered, tilting my chin up to him and wiping the tears on my cheeks with his thumb. I hadn’t realized I was crying until now. I also didn’t realize how red his eyes have gotten, the hurt reflecting off every aspect of them. I didn’t think of just how much this would affect him on purpose; it would make everything so much more emotional.
“Please don’t do this,” he said, his voice taking a desperate note.
I looked away, focusing on the airplane pendant on his chest. I remember how often I’d fiddle with it whenever I was in his arms, late at night or early in the morning. I loved him so much, and I didn’t want to do this, but I knew it was best for both of us.
“I’m sorry.” My voice cracked, and I stepped away from him, turning on my heel and running toward the door. I heard Harry call my name behind me, but I didn’t answer, slamming the door behind me and running into the heavy downpour. Water streamed down my face that had nothing to do with the rain. I held back a sob, not wanting to stop just to feel sorry for myself.
Suddenly, I felt a hand enclose around my wrist, spinning me around. Harry’s curly hair was damp my the rain, a lock of it hanging in front of his eyes. I couldn’t tell whether or not he was crying, but when he spoke, the emotion in his voice told me he was.
“Please don’t do this,” he repeated, the only difference being the prominent crack in his voice. “I love you, and I don’t want to lose what we have. I won’t let you leave me. Please, please don’t let me go. I don’t want to sleep alone, knowing that you could be with me. Please.”
I knew immediately what reference he was making. I remember him singing that song to me countless times when I couldn’t sleep, my head nuzzled in the crook of his neck, my pointer finger tracing his swallow tattoos on his chest, his arm around my waist and his other hand playing with my hair, his lips to my ear, the lullaby of his soft voice bringing me closer and closer to blissful sleep. At the end of the song, every time, he’d kiss my cheek, murmuring, “I love you.”
I let out a strangled sob, and felt Harry pull my body closer to his. “Shhh…it’s alright baby…it’s alright…” he murmured, tracing circles on my back.
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed in his chest, feeling pathetic for crying. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“We can do this together.” He cupped my face with his hands, his thumb wiping the tears away from my eyes. “We’ve been together for too long to just break it off like this. I won’t let that happen.”
I sighed, looking away again, and he leaned down, pressing his forehead to mine. “I love you,” he whispered, and I met his eyes again.
“I love you more,” I teased, smirking slightly.
“That’s not possible.” Before I can argue, he pressed his lips to mine, as desperately as our last would be before he leaves on tour. My fingers went to the nape of his neck, playing with his curls. His skin was wet from the rain. I knew I was too, but I didn’t mind at all. All I cared about was the boy in front of me, the smell of the rain fresh on the pavement and the feel of his lips intoxicating me, numbing my senses. I didn’t think about what led to my running out in the downpour or what obstacles Harry and I will need to overcome in order to stay together. All that mattered was this one moment. I wasn’t letting it go.
Again, I’m soooo sorry for being MIA for the past few months, school is over in literally five days!!